Today is a day like all the others —only it's not!
The pain that I feel in my gut, it never goes away. Not even on a random Tuesday in March, or a hectic Saturday in December. It’s always there, even while enjoying a lovely dinner with family, or a fun filled day at Disney World. It doesn’t matter what day it is, it always hurts without you. There is the “everyday” that I mourn you and then there are the “other days.” The days when it hurts even more — when the hurt becomes unbearable.
A day like today — your birthday. Today is both the best and the worst, all at once
Days like today, are the best because
I have an excuse to lose myself in you, to immerse my thoughts in us, and love you even deeper than I did yesterday. Today, it’s justifiable to fall madly in love with you again.
Days like today, are the worst because
I have an excuse to lose myself in you. To immerse my thoughts in us, and to love you even deeper than yesterday. Today it’s justifiable to fall madly into grief with you again.
Forever 33 — that's you.
Today, I wish we were celebrating your 39th year around the sun, instead of mourning it. Today I wish I could peek around the corner, and watch as you examine your hairline for the tenth time in a row. You always feared to lose your hair, yet looked forward to being an “old fart” as you famously called it.
Your outlook on growing old was special. Unlike most people, you embraced it. Never in a million years could you (or I) have imagined that instead of growing old, you would remain forever young.
You will remain forever young in my heart and forever present in my mind, — I will mourn you forever!
Today, you missed your birthday for the sixth year in a row.
I love you, Justin Ayers!
